Monday, September 29, 2008

I'm thinking, I'm thinking

"Write about what you have too much of."
Thoughts. That is what I have too much of. If only I could think of a way to have fewer thoughts.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Two for the Price of One

"Write of humiliating exposure." and "Write about a time you felt compassion unexpectedly."
I am combining these two, because they both remind me of a specific time in my life.
I won't go in to the details, but it was a dark time, and you either know what I am talking about or you don't. I felt humiliated and betrayed. I felt vulnerable to the wagging tongues of a small town. I felt exposed and pitiable.
The surprise came when I felt compassion for a person who was involved in the betrayal and humiliation. I felt a lot of other things too, of course. But I even amazed myself when I was able to understand and forgive. Some people have told me that they would not have been able to do what I did in that circumstance. To that I would reply: you really can get to know yourself in times of adversity, if you are open to it. What I found out about myself is that I held it to be more important to hold fast to my ideals than to avenge a wrong or hold on to resentment. I thought long and hard about it, but that was only in order to convince myself that what I knew in my heart to be true (forgiveness is the way) was, in fact, the best route for me to a better place. So, the compassion I felt for another was really the same as the compassion I felt for myself.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

View from my kitchen today

Click on the image to enlarge it....

One Moment, Please

"Write about what you had to have."
We all have those moments - when the present is distilled into a crystal clear memory. Time seems to stop, and every sensation and every thought seems to be etched in an instant onto our consciousness. These may not always be pleasant moments - but when they are, and the moment is sweet and precious, it is truly a gift. It is a gift that we can keep opening simply by thinking of it, and savoring once again its qualities. There may be times when these moments carry us through more difficult passages. There may be times when we dwell too long in these moments. I believe these moments are meant to be revisited only as a passing thought and not lingered in. Otherwise we can get too caught up in the illusion of loss; and if we are reliving a moment, we are not currently experiencing our own present being. But for the comfort, and the pleasure, and the loving peacefulness they provide, I am truly thankful for my moments. Could I live without them? I suppose so, but I sure am glad they are in my repertoire. I might even go so far as to say: I had to have them. They sustain me. They delight me. They inform me. They remind me. They love me. And I love them back.

Friday, September 19, 2008

The Beckoning of Lovely

This is a video that is worth taking 7 minutes to watch! Either click on the title of this post, or go to my "Links to Inspiration" area on the left below.

Make 'em laugh.
Make a difference.
Make sense.
Make me.
Make a joyful noise.
Make a bundle.
Make love, not war.
Make a pie.
Make someone happy.
Make a fuss.
Make a decision.
Make dinner.
Make sure.
Make merry.
Make off.
Make as if.

What do you make of it?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Baby's got blue eyes

"Write about a physical characteristic you are proud to have inherited or passed along."
Hands down easy, it is the blue eyes. I love blue eyes. I just plain love eyes, actually.
They are the windows into the soul, after all. Maybe it's because I have blue eyes, but I prefer blue ones. The most amazing eyes I have ever seen belonged to a friend I had in high school - they were violet. Brown eyes are lovely and velvety and warm. Hazel eyes, uh-oh, watch out for those hazel eyes! You never know what color they will be! That is pretty cool. But blue eyes....ooh, I just can't help myself. I go all mushy over blue eyes.
I don't particularly go in for pride, or at least I don't think I do, especially when it comes to my physical characteristics. I don't tend to think of myself as good-looking, even though plenty of people have said so. Eh, I think to myself, what do they know? But I am a total sucker for compliments about my eyes! Luckily for me, they will still be beautiful even when I am old and wrinkled and stuff!! I picture myself, face wizened and body bent by age, but still with a bright blue twinkle in the optical orbs.
P.S. Click on the title to go to Elton John singing "Blue Eyes"
P.P.S. This song is also one of my favorites, because once my big brother Warren was singing it; so it always reminds me of him.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Sorry, that's all she wrote

Today's topic: write an apology for something that you didn't do.
What is the purpose of an apology, after all? Does it help the apologizer as much as, or even more than, the intended receiver of the apology? Does a sincere apology serve to heal the world in general?
Dictionary time!
Apology: A statement of acknowledgment expressing regret or asking pardon.
Apology: A statement that justifies or defends something, such as a past action or policy.
Hmm....those are two slightly different things. One expresses regret, one defends something, with no connotation of regret.
Have you ever apologized for something that you really didn't feel sorry about? Did you use the words "I apologize" instead of "I'm sorry," when you knew an apology was in order, but you really didn't feel the regret? Here's a clue about me: if I say "I apologize" about something, then I am not really sorry at that moment!
This is my apology for something I didn't do: I am sorry I didn't say I was sorry when I was apologizing to you. Got that? I meant it!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

20 years ago....

I saw this on my niece's blog, and she tagged me, so now it's my turn!
....20 years ago....
1) I was married to my first husband, Neil.
2) I was working as an Accounts Payable Supervisor at US Surgical.
3) We were planning our trip to wine country in California.
....10 years ago.....
1) I was married to my last husband, John!
2) We had a one year old son, our pride and joy, Window Boy!
3) We were living in Fairfield CT,and I was working as a payroll manager at USS.
....5 years ago...
1) Husband and I were talking divorce. That SO did not happen, thank you!
2) It was, needless to say, a true low point in my life.
3) Had just been on a great but HOT trip to Disneyworld with Allison, Daniel and Julia. (Seems like longer ago!)
....3 years ago...
1) We were living in Lighthouse Point, Florida.
2) We were not loving those hurricanes! This was the year of Katrina, Rita and most of all, Wilma, which is the one that convinced me to get the heck out of Florida ASAP.
3) John was working up North and racking up the frequent flier miles (which enabled us to have a free trip to Cleveland this summer!).
....1 year ago....
1) We had just moved to beautiful Northwest Jersey!
2) The kids were starting their new schools.
3) John and I got to go away to Cape Cod for the weekend.
....This year so far....
1) The kids and I visited our family and old haunts in Florida in April.
2) We all went on a great but HOT vacation to Williamsburg and DC.
3) We are feeling more settled and happy in our new life here.
1) It was raining cats and dogs, and I stepped in a poodle.
2) I had a facial at the spa.
3) I started reading a book for the neighborhood book club I am joining.
1) It is a beautiful sunny day.
2) I had coffee with my neighbor this morning.
3) I am going to tackle my extensive chore list after this.
1) I am meeting with Julia's teacher.
2) No doubt I will be doing more chores.
3) I am going to watch my neighbor's kids while she goes to Back to School night.
(and she will do the same for me next week)
....Next year.....
1) We are probably going to have a "staycation" and paint the deck.
2)We will be getting a new car.
3) I will be even happier and more active than I am now.

Now I tag YOU!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Miss Understanding

This is the third in a series of writing exercises that I came upon and assigned to myself. This latest has had me a bit stymied. "Write about something you wrote or did that you no longer understand." What? I used to understand, and now I don't? That concept is foreign to me. Maybe that is because I consider myself to be understanding to a fault. At one point in my life, I was known in a certain circle as "Miss Understanding." (Admittedly, this was a small circle, but I have owned the appellation ever since. I covet a reputation - more on that another time.)
.....Okay, I have let several days pass, while I thought about something - anything - that I have written or done that I no longer understand. At first, I thought of something I wrote in my journal during college - "Desire cannot replace fortitude." But frankly, I am not sure I even understood that when I wrote it! Or more accurately, my level of understanding has not changed since then.
.....Now I have let even more time pass. Still, I cannot conjure up a thing that I have done or written that I no longer understand. Unless it is the case that the level of my lack of understanding is so low that I don't even KNOW that I no longer understand, then I guess I am good to go on this one. I need to move past this once and for all!